Ciao Ciao, ci sentiamo a dopo!

I've realized how quickly time moves. If you aren't really where you are, and always thinking about what, inevitably, will happen in the near future, day turns to night before you know it, and then night turns to day and all of a sudden you've returned to where you didn't want to be and wishing you could have had just a little more time.

i refuse to let that happen. especially in the final beautiful hours, minutes, and seconds that i have until the next times.

i just spent a week with roberto in Cinque Terre. five little towns settled in these little mountains but also kissing the charming italian coast. i am incredibly grateful that i was able to be THERE, in those moments, feeling every ray of the sun warming my body and every salty wave that i dove into, and i was able to truly enjoy every sip of fizzy white wine in between bites of focaccia, and savor every big hug and every silly kiss. i am very lucky that i only allowed myself a few moments of "oh crap, i'm leaving in a few days," (and only while roberto was sleeping), because had i be dreading my return (alone) to madrid, (and inevitably to the u.s.) the whole time, i wouldn't be as radiant as i am now from how happy the whole time was.

we slept in a tent.
i learned italian.
i shared everlasting moments alone with my favorite person in the world.


now i'm in madrid again. totally bumming out. feeling what is the accumulation 7 days of something i was not allowing myself to feel... Going Home

although i leave Europe with a substantially heavy heart, it is only in thinking of the of the amazing things it has given me this year. most abundantly, my friendships.

and although every second that i am writing this my throat is tight and my heart is sunk, and maybe my eyes are moist with warm tears, i know that this place will patiently await my return, and my friends will await me with open arms. to them i am forever grateful and indebted, and i am excited for the new moments we will have together.


giá mi manci, amore.